


hoffnungslos

by Weisse_Rose



Series: Saving Killian Jones (stand-alone h/c stories through the seasons) [3]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: All the Hurt/Comfort Tags!, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort without plot, Yes it's a thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 15:27:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5670865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weisse_Rose/pseuds/Weisse_Rose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gold decides to get rid of Hook once and for all. Emma comes to the rescue.</p>
<p>Basically the Hurt/Comfort equivalent to Porn without Plot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	hoffnungslos

Killian woke up a second before the hand pressed down on his chest, pushing him down. His first instinct was to pick up his hook from the bedside table, but he realized with horror that his muscles wouldn't obey him. Panicked, he tried to open his eyes, but he couldn't even make his eyelids move. He was completely and utterly paralyzed.

"Ah, captain, don't waste your energy, you will need it."

At least his ears still worked fine. For as long as he lived, he would never forget that voice.

"You see, I was lying awake, thinking about all the regrets I had accumulated in my long life." Killian would very much have liked to make a derisive noise at this revelation, but it seemed for the moment he could do nothing but listen to the crocodile.

"And there's so many mistakes I cannot change." His voice sounded like it was tinted with actual regret, but Killian knew better. That emotion was far beyond the scope of the Dark One. "But then I remembered there was one mistake I actually could do something about." There was a pointed pause. "Not killing you when I had the chance."

_Dear God_ does this man love the sound of his own voice, Killian thought.

"So, captain, I'm afraid this will be the last night of your life."

Killian put all his strength into reaching for his hook, but it was no use. His fingers didn't even twitch.

"Oh, I won't just kill you. Where would be the fun in that, dearie?" Killlian could hear the smirk in his voice.

"No, you will die slowly and painfully. You will know the extend of what it means to be truly alone." 

Killian heard noises from objects being moved about, but he couldn't make out any specifics.

"And do you want to know the absolute brilliant thing about this curse?" This time, the crocodile actually laughed. "All it would need to break it is the touch of another human being. But by the time they will find you in the morning, you will long ago have slipped into insanity. Or be dead." He sounded thoughtful. "I wonder if the mind is capable to end one's life by a pure effort of will when faced with such terror that going on is no longer possible."

"Well, you're going to find out for me." And with those parting words, he was out the door.

* * *

At first, he panicked. He tried to move his limbs, one by one. It didn't do anything. And in a moment of true terror he realized he couldn't even control his breathing. _Okay, Killian, get it together. You've been through worse than this. All you have to do is make it to morning._

He tried to hold on to this thought when he noticed a weird sensation spreading from his chest. It was terrifyingly cold, freezing him to the bone. It was like darkness spreading outward from his heart, enveloping him. The cold wasn't numbing him, instead it somehow made the agony worse. It wasn't pain so much as a feeling of utter despair and loneliness.

He was drowning. He was alone in an endless dark sea and there was no point in swimming, because he knew in his heart that there was no shore. There was only the darkness and the freezing water and he gave up, feeling utter and totally hopeless. He sank slowly, feeling the cold envelop him, but death would not come. He realized that he could not die, that he would spend eternity alone at the freezing bottom of the ocean, where there was no light, no hope, no meaning.

He screamed in terror and agony, but no sound left his mouth.

* * *

Emma sat up in bed with a start. She vaguely remembered fragments from a dream which were fading quickly. It had been something about Hook drowning. It might have taken place in Neverland, she wasn't sure. While the details were fading there was one thing that rang loud and clear in her mind. _Hook is in danger._ It felt like more than the memory from a bad dream. It was a gut feeling.

Emma had always been somebody who trusted her instincts. Even more so since she had accepted magic not only as something real but also as a part of her. For a long time in her life, there had been nothing else to put her trust in but her instincts. She knew that there was more to it than just the leftover uneasiness of a bad dream.

That left her with a decision. Did she want to get involved? After all, it was the middle of the night. Hook was quite capable of taking care of himself. Also, if her feeling turned out to be wrong, he sure as hell would not let her live down showing up at his room at Granny's in the middle of the night. She could already picture his grin in her mind's eye.

The image suddenly changed to one from her dream, Hook immersed in dark water, screaming silently, his face a mask of agony. It was this picture that decided her. Let him make fun if it turned out to be nothing. She actually hoped to arrive at his room, realizing she had made a fool of herself and everything was fine.

She jumped out of bed, only taking the time to quickly put on some clothes and grab her handbag, then she was out the door.

* * *

She stood in front of the door to Hook's room feeling like a fool. In the bright light of the corridor, it seemed very silly to have come here because of a dream. What would she even say to him if he opened the door? She almost turned around to leave, but it was again the picture of Hook drowning that held her back.

She knocked tentatively on the door. When there was no reply after a minute, she knocked louder.

"Hook?", she called through the door.

She tried the door knob. The door was locked. Well, she'd tried. She turned around, then closed her eyes and sighed. She realized she'd just have flashbacks to that image until she made sure, with her own two eyes, that he was okay.

She had a look in her handbag, uncovering two hair pins. This should not be a problem. The lock on the door did not give the most secure impression anyway.

Indeed, it only took her a minute to gain entrance. She congratulated herself on not loosing that skill.

"Hook?", she called again when she slowly opened the door. The room was dark and she saw no sign of him.

Then, she spotted him on the bed and her heart skipped a beat in relief. He was fine. It was strange though that he hadn't heard her, she wouldn't have pegged him for a heavy sleeper. She approached the bed slowly, the dread returning to her thoughts. She turned the bedside lamp on, readying herself to give the pirate an explanation of what she was doing in his room in the middle of the night.

He didn't even stir. In the low light of the lamp she could see that he was unnaturally pale. She couldn't detect any movement of his chest. _Please_ , she thought desperately, _please don't be dead._

She reached for his throat in order to take his pulse, preparing herself for the worst.

The second she touched his skin, his eyes shot open. She withdrew her hand in shock. His eyes were glazed over and unseeing. The expression in them was more of a cornered wild animal than a human. Then she saw a flicker of something like recognition cross his face. He sat up suddenly, grabbing for her. She pulled back, but she wasn't fast enough. She started to fight him but stopped when she realized he wasn't actually attacking her. He had just drawn both of his arms around her, in an embrace so tight it made it difficult for her to breath.

She could feel him trembling all around her, his breathing ragged. She slowly recovered from her shock and tentatively put her arms around him. She could hear him starting to sob where his head was pressed against her shoulder.

She didn't know how long they stayed like this. At some point, she started to slowly draw her hand through his hair, making shushing noises like she would to calm a distressed child. 

After a long time, she felt him relax against her and his breathing got more even. She pulled back a little without breaking their embrace in order to meet his eyes. They were red and puffy, his face covered in tears and snot. It was probably the most unattractive she had ever seen him, yet her heart went out to him. She felt a sudden desire to help and protect him, to mend whatever had caused this breakdown. For the first time, she saw that behind the façade of captain Hook, behind the smirks and innuendo, there was a real person. Of course, she had already seen a different side of him in Neverland. But never vulnerable. Never like this.

"What happened?" Her words were very quiet, trying not to spook him.

He leaned back and took several deep breaths. 

"Rumpelstiltskin", he spat out.

She waited for him to continue. She saw him open and close his mouth several times, clearly struggling with his memories. When he started speaking again, it was slow and hesitant, his voice still hoarse from crying.

"The crocodile paid me a visit and put a terrible curse on me. I couldn't move a single limb, not even bat an eyelid. But that was not the worst part." He drew his arms around himself. Emma doubted that he was even aware that he was doing it. "There was a sensation. It is difficult to put into words. It was like being lost at sea, only there was no hope of ever being saved. I was drowning in darkness and misery and despair and ... " He stopped, trying to get his breathing back under control. "I was the only being in all the realms and there was no escape from the loneliness, not even death. It was the most horrifying experience of my life."

"Well, good thing you turned out to be wrong." 

He looked at her, his eyebrows drawn together in confusion.

"About there being no hope of somebody saving you, I mean."

"Ah." His voice was unusually soft and Emma couldn't help but think _who is this man?_

"Thank you." The words were uttered with such sincere gratitude that Emma had to swallow around a lump that had suddenly formed in her throat.

"How did you know?" 

Now it was Emma's turn to look at him in confusion.

"How did you know I needed saving?", he clarified.

Emma was not sure how to put it in words. "I dunno. I kind of ... just knew."

"I'm the saviour. It's what I do", she added with a smile, trying to lighten the mood.

He leaned back against the headboard of the bed, clearly exhausted. Neither of them said anything further, the silence growing awkward. She saw him glance at his hook and brace on the bedside table. She wondered if he considered to put them on, just to regain some of his bravado. Maybe he was feeling uncomfortable about his earlier outburst.

"I guess I'll be leaving then.", she said apropos of nothing and jumped up from the bed. 

She saw his eyes widen in fear for an instant, but he quickly got himself back under control. She realized she'd made a mistake. She thought he was feeling better, but apparently he had just put the mask back on. Now that she studied him more closely she could see a slight tremor run through him. He was clearly far from fine.

"Of course. My apologies for disrupting your sleep." He gave her a smile that did not reach his eyes. His words sounded casual, but she could detect a hint of barely concealed panic underneath them. There was something in his eyes as well, belying his words. He held her gaze and the unspoken words rang clear in her mind. _Please don't leave me_. 

It was his damn price, she told herself. Of course, the dread pirate Hook could hardly admit to being afraid of being alone. She cursed herself silently. 

"On the other hand, I think I couldn't go back to sleep now anyway. Do you wanna watch a movie or something?"

It was a lame excuse and they both knew it, but the way a flash of obvious relief crossed his face made her glad she'd made the offer.

"Aye."

She grabbed her phone from her handbag and sat down on the bed next to him. For a moment, her eyes were drawn to his left arm, before she quickly looked away again, embarrassed. It was strange to see him without the hook and brace. With them, he seemed complete, in her mind they were just a part of the character captain Hook, not the sign of a disability. Seeing him without them made her suddenly wonder how painful and shocking it must be to loose a hand. She tried to stop that train of thought.

"Did you know that Granny's has free wifi?"

"Those words are meaningless to me, love." He sounded much better, clearly put at ease by the fact that she was not running out on him yet.

"It means we can watch netflix. The screen resolution on this sucks, but it'll have to do."

"I know you think you are explaining, Swan, but that was just gibberish to me." His voice had taken on a teasing tone and, for the first time, Emma was glad about it.

She scooted a bit closer to him and showed him the screen. He took the opportunity to put his right arm over her shoulder. She was about to complain, but at the contact she realized that he was still trembling slightly and she let it go. 

"Pirates of the Caribbean? Really, love?"

"You're going to like it. Trust me."

Halfway through the movie, his head came to rest on her shoulder. Halfway through the second movie, she realized he had fallen asleep. She turned off the phone and put it away. Her battery wouldn't have lasted much longer anyway. She gently manoeuvred him down to lie on the bed, rather than sit in it. He grumbled in his sleep, but didn't wake up. She considered her options. She really should get back to her parent's place, but it seemed like such a hassle to get out of the warm bed and into the cold night again. 

She sighed and made up her mind. Waking up next to Hook was future Emma's problem. Right now, she would take a much needed rest. She closed her eyes and soon fell into a deep, dreamless slumber.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is German and just means 'hopeless'. Which is what I am when it comes to giving titles to my works.
> 
> Please review and let me know what you think!


End file.
